“So many happy memories
So much to give thanks for
But so many tears and heartaches
For all the missed years
For all the moments to come we should have shared
For all the times we will look for you and you won’t be there . . .”
When I wrote those words for Gary’s memorial service sheet I knew we were going to have very difficult and challenging times ahead. I knew I was going to find it very difficult living without Gary in my life because he meant the world to me. What I didn’t know were the details of all the times lying ahead of us when we would wish more than anything else that he could be there. Happy times and intensely sad times – we have lived through so many uncountable moments when Gary should have been there with us to share the laughter and the tears. I can’t list every single time when I have missed him – it’s been many times a day nearly every day since we were so cruelly separated, but some significant moments stand out which I wanted to mention on this page. Sometimes I also look back on the years I’ve spent without him and I think about how much the world has changed since December 2003. There are things we now have, like Spotify and Youtube which I think Gary would have loved and other things like increased pollution and political changes which I’m sure he would have despaired at. I find it comforting to be able to mark some of those occasions here and if anyone else wants to share with me significant times in their lives when they too wished Gary was there next to them then please message me with your thoughts and I will add them here.
To Gary with everlasting love from Suzanne “The hardest thing has been seeing Megan grow up from an eleven year old child into a beautiful, talented and kind young woman without you being with us to share all those moments. From starting at middle school, secondary school, two foundation courses, bringing home her first boyfriend, her dog Molly, meeting Josh who is now her life partner, leaving home, buying their first home together, getting their second dog Floki, graduating from university with a first in Illustration, starting her freelance career, having her first book of illustrations published . . . so, so many times when you would have been there for her – guiding her, helping her, making her laugh, bursting with pride . . . It breaks my heart that you haven’t been there with us throughout all the ups and downs, the traumas, the achievements, the happy occasions – you have always been in our thoughts throughout it all but it’s not the same as you physically being here with us. The difficult times have all been massively more difficult without your help, advise and reassurance; the happy times have all been tinged with sadness because you weren’t with us to share these treasured moments.
So I want to post below some occasions and achievements when I wished above all else that you could have been there next to us. I hope, that even though you weren’t there in person, that you were there in spirit – and you were most certainly there in our thoughts and hearts. “
